where did my walls go?

I just realized today that no one took seriously my Facebook plea for donations for a new laptop. I would literally take $5 right now. On second thought, perhaps I should invest in some kind of insurance for the accident prone, on the off chance that someone is foolish enough to start THAT company. Semi-related: I promised Jo that I'd blog about my laundry basket incident. Pretty much, I accidentally stepped in a laundry basket. At the time it was hilarious. I guess you had to be there.

Lessons learned and general observations for the day:
1. It's generally better to keep your mouth shut.
2. Sometimes I wish I could put my life in the freezer when it gets too scary.
3. Misery can be pervasive, and good is not always present--sometimes you have to create it.
4. Dog gates in doorways do not combine well with sleep-walking.
5. If possible, it's always better to sit outside.
6. I'm beginning to confuse reality with dreams I've had.
7. It's okay to avoid creepers.
8. It's generally better to keep your mouth shut.
9. Pretending a burnt grilled cheese sandwich "tastes like camping food" really doesn't help.
10. Ten is just a more complete number.

Hi blog buddy Sho (did I ever tell you that Sho was the name of my first crush?).

Mama Pajama got half her neck burned to a crisp.

I am efficient so that I can be lazy.

Burnt orange Range Rovers and tourists who think they can direct traffic are all on my hit list now.

Dogs are not allowed to bark, but twenty people can get away with running their mouths right outside my bedroom window on my one day off.

Migrating futons. Velociraptors. Jeff Goldblum.

Tandem bikes are almost not worth the trouble, but they keep you young.

Crayons and margaritas are the best combination.

When you're in a creek at night, EVERYthing that brushes by you is a snake.

My retirement will consist of southern accents, canes, and lawn chairs.

According to my nightmares, I am incapable of love, but my love for cheese grows daily.

There have been recent complaints about my nearly month-long hiatus. Let me start by saying that I have no major injuries to report. It's possible that they were source of my inspiration, thus, the hiatus. However, to appease my dear older brother, here are three embarrassing incidents, as well as a recent concern of mine, to hold you over until inspiration returns.

First, my younger brother and I were driving back to Tokyo from the mountains, and, finally making it to the tollbooth in Tokyo, we prepared to pay the toll (as you do at a tollbooth). Mishap substep #1: pull in too far away from the booth, poor man has to reach half his body out to take my ticket. Mishap substep #2: cannot find correct change, but somehow it seems incredibly crucial at the time to use up as many coins as possible. Drop half of said coins all over car floor. Mission accomplished. Mishap substep #3: drop a coin in the chasm between my car and the window. Poor man has to come out of the booth to pick it up. Mishap substep #4 (the finale): try to hand poor man the rest of the change and experience an awkward fumble wherein the man drops all the coins and has to pick them all back up again, then hurries back to his booth hoping that when he turns around I'll be gone.

Second, while eating dinner with my family tonight, my father mentioned some recent flooding in what I thought he said was Oklahoma. I had no idea why he would mention this, and then proceed to talk about rivers rising and nearly flooding bike paths, as though this was at all relevant to any of us (and really, out of all the states, Oklahoma?). Not that it's not important to be aware of current events, but bike paths in Oklahoma just seemed a little too specific. In any case, I decided this might be an appropriate time to belt out that song from the musical...you know the song. Luckily, someone asked my dad why it was flooding in Yokohama, just seconds before I would have started singing and thoroughly confused everyone at the table. So maybe that wasn't an embarrassing incident. More like a fortunate sidestepping of such an incident.

Third, whilst playing a game of hearts with my mother and siblings, someone says something funny and I let out a laugh unlike any you've ever heard before. It's the kind of laugh with different pitches, and the "ha ha's" are maniacally close together, and while you're laughing, in your head you're thinking, "WHAT is this NOISE coming out of me?" The worst part is, you can't just end the laugh and move on. You know it's echoing in everyone's heads.

Finally, my recent concern. For whatever reason, I have begun to lose a lot of hair. Perhaps I have a condition, or maybe the world is trying to restore equilibrium, since I probably have more hair than most. I need to get in touch with Locks of Love so I can donate all the hair I'm losing. And while I'm at it, maybe I should order a wig myself. If anyone has any inkling of why this may be happening to me, I would love to know. Preferably before I start getting patchy, or have to fashion a comb-over.

Personal Injury and Mishap Log, 6/3-6/5

6/3
10:32pm. Opened car door on face (possible bruise on chin, will update).
6/4
7:28pm. Paper cut on finger from program during graduation ceremony (for the record, did attempt to refuse receipt of said program).
2:11am. Viciously attacked by red cockroach on bed (spent remainder of night sleeping fitfully on sister's bed; possible subsequent attacks thwarted).
6/5
6:20pm. Put shirt on inside out and failed to notice for several hours (note to self: college degree was for nothing).
9:14pm. Thumbnail bent backwards by loving mother during an especially animated game of Nertz (bruise already evident).
10:52pm. Burnt on arm by iron (glaring scar, likely to blister; siblings' ears permanently violated).

Better luck tomorrow.

Mayra: Nebusoku = "lacking sleep" (neh-boo-soh-coo).

a happy ending

I've biked the same way from my home to my old high school for almost 8 years. A little over halfway there, there's a small mirror on the ground. It's shattered, and has been for as long as I can remember. It gets flatter and flatter to the pavement as the years go by, but every shard is still intact.

I think it's safe to say that whoever dropped the mirror is finally through their bout of bad luck, and I'm quite happy for this individual.

accidentally on purpose

Consider these last couple of weeks a long comfortable silence between close friends. Sometimes there are no words to say. And now, my biggest news: last night I pulled out a sizable cluster of eyelashes from my poor left eye. Said eye is undergoing a bit of an identity crisis. It seems to be blinking more rapidly due to the loss of eyelid-weight, and altogether too much air is being allowed into the eye itself. Due to some tricky bits of mascara artistry, the missing chunk is not noticeable to the naked eye, except perhaps to people who are taller than me. I've been told that from above, the gap is quite vivid.

The real issue here was, I believed, quite obvious. Trichotillomania, the self-induced loss of hair, from compulsive hair-pulling. Many a roommate of mine has been privy to my obsessive nightly tweezing ritual. But precisely because I have impeccable eyebrows, I don't believe that trichotillomania is my problem. If there is any question of this, all one has to do is a google image search of this disorder. No, this particular eyelash incident was just an accident. However, it has tampered with my personal equilibrium (both physical and psychological), leading me to the conclusion that "hair is everything," something a very good friend of mine once said, and I have often repeated to myself. No doubt in the 45-60 days it takes my eyelashes to fully regrow, I will have time to ponder this timeless truth.

Since it appears that Mayra still reads my blog (as do others, though quite invisibly), I will once again come up with a new Japanese word for you. Bosa-bosa is a term often used to describe my hair. Basically, it means "frizzy," or "messy," neither of which can be said of Mayra's hair.

and everytime I held a rose, it seems I only felt the thorns...

Last night I dreamed that the world was dying from so much pollution (I know, it sounds like Wall-E). The air was so bad that our bodies were deteriorating so we had to wear these artificial body suits to stay alive. And there was no drinking water so we had to drink milk and apple juice. A select group of people had chosen to live in their own skin instead. It meant dying a pretty painful death, and dying young. I decided to join them, because I would rather die living a real life than live a long life in a fake body. So we went out, ate what real food was left, and watched as our skin started to sag off our faces and disintegrate. It was beautiful.