I'm sitting here typing profusely then deleting profusely everything I type as I try to come up with something profound about this subject that has been on my mind so often these days. Home. Belonging. Connecting. Meaning something.
This new direction in my life has taken me on many adventures and granted me the opportunity to meet so many new people and experience so many things (one of which involved having a homeless man in Denver yell, "GO LONG!" then proceed to chuck a bottle at my head). While I wouldn't trade the glamour of sleeping on an airline blanket on the floor of my unfurnished apartment, eating stale cheerios with no milk because it's gone sour while I was away on a trip, and sitting on the edge of my bathtub soaking my feet because I'm standing in heels for 12 hours, I am trying to navigate the reality of this kind of existence, knowing that if I don't make some sense of it, I'll get lost in it. The truth is, most of the time, no one in my life ever really knows where I am. When I have time off on a layover, it's with a crew that I will likely never see again after this trip. When I go back to my crash pad, I'm lucky if I can catch up with one or two roommates who I haven't seen in a good two weeks. When I finally make it back to LA, it's to friends and family who have lives of their own that I try to squeeze a bit of catching up into.
Not to say that I don't love what I do. I'm not complaining. This is an opportunity that I never would've passed up, regardless of these complications. The trick is to figure out how to accept that this isn't just a job, it's a lifestyle. I have to create little pockets of "home" where I can. I have to appreciate that I'm able to see loved ones who are normally far away. I have to embrace my independence, while still striving to stay connected with those I love and miss. I have to be intentional about taking care of myself, because I can't rely on good habits and a regular routine.
So there you go, some recent thoughts out of Emma Cole's head. P.S. If anyone would like to text me daily and remind me to take my multivitamin, I'm now accepting volunteers.
