Hi blog buddy Sho (did I ever tell you that Sho was the name of my first crush?).

Mama Pajama got half her neck burned to a crisp.

I am efficient so that I can be lazy.

Burnt orange Range Rovers and tourists who think they can direct traffic are all on my hit list now.

Dogs are not allowed to bark, but twenty people can get away with running their mouths right outside my bedroom window on my one day off.

Migrating futons. Velociraptors. Jeff Goldblum.

Tandem bikes are almost not worth the trouble, but they keep you young.

Crayons and margaritas are the best combination.

When you're in a creek at night, EVERYthing that brushes by you is a snake.

My retirement will consist of southern accents, canes, and lawn chairs.

According to my nightmares, I am incapable of love, but my love for cheese grows daily.