Thursday, August 19, 2010

where did my walls go?

I just realized today that no one took seriously my Facebook plea for donations for a new laptop. I would literally take $5 right now. On second thought, perhaps I should invest in some kind of insurance for the accident prone, on the off chance that someone is foolish enough to start THAT company. Semi-related: I promised Jo that I'd blog about my laundry basket incident. Pretty much, I accidentally stepped in a laundry basket. At the time it was hilarious. I guess you had to be there.

Lessons learned and general observations for the day:
1. It's generally better to keep your mouth shut.
2. Sometimes I wish I could put my life in the freezer when it gets too scary.
3. Misery can be pervasive, and good is not always present--sometimes you have to create it.
4. Dog gates in doorways do not combine well with sleep-walking.
5. If possible, it's always better to sit outside.
6. I'm beginning to confuse reality with dreams I've had.
7. It's okay to avoid creepers.
8. It's generally better to keep your mouth shut.
9. Pretending a burnt grilled cheese sandwich "tastes like camping food" really doesn't help.
10. Ten is just a more complete number.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Hi blog buddy Sho (did I ever tell you that Sho was the name of my first crush?).

Mama Pajama got half her neck burned to a crisp.

I am efficient so that I can be lazy.

Burnt orange Range Rovers and tourists who think they can direct traffic are all on my hit list now.

Dogs are not allowed to bark, but twenty people can get away with running their mouths right outside my bedroom window on my one day off.

Migrating futons. Velociraptors. Jeff Goldblum.

Tandem bikes are almost not worth the trouble, but they keep you young.

Crayons and margaritas are the best combination.

When you're in a creek at night, EVERYthing that brushes by you is a snake.

My retirement will consist of southern accents, canes, and lawn chairs.

According to my nightmares, I am incapable of love, but my love for cheese grows daily.